Sunday, September 12, 2010

It Comes Full Circle

I telephoned my sister on Thursday night saying that by reading my blog, especially now that I update so infrequently, she would never know what was really happening in my life if I did not call her. It made me think of how little of my real self is shared in this space. I've not talked very specifically about my jobs, my arts, my everyday family, or my social life. I prefer to remain anonymous.

My aim with the blog was always to play music. Music so inspires me when I'm cre8ing! Since I practice three art forms, I was always working on something, with music generally playing in the background. I love to share the great music I find and it seemed like a good fit. Also, the blog was to eventually show my painting, glass and jewelry. In my bid to stay anonymous I realized this wouldn't be possible so have shown none of my work except for some windows.

Playing music on a blog has changed very much too since I joined the blogging world in Feb, 2006. Blogs get shut down now for copyright infringement and though I don't share the views of the powers that be, I would not want to be shut down.

I have had a soul jarring week. On Wednesday, after extensive surgery, a good friend was told that she has a very short time to live. Another very close friend passed away on Thursday. I've just returned from her wake. This morning I talked with one of my aunts for the last time, I'm afraid. Because she was so weak, she was able to talk with me only a few moments. I feel a little stunned to tell you the truth. Three people who have long been close to me, I will never see again.

A week like this leads to evaluating our time. It can't be helped. We are reminded of the fragility of life and the short time we are here; what can suddenly appear around the corner - like a Mack truck, in some cases.

I've come to the conclusion that since there is so little of me here, I really shouldn't be here, taking up cyberspace. I had big changes in my life more than a year ago when I went to occasional postings rather than the previously almost daily postings. It has been really tough to get here at all this summer with my double workload and I stressed about it. I don't need the extra stress so I think the blog has come to a natural but rather quick end. I may drop in with something from time to time and will keep the account to link to the other blogs.

I can not believe this. In a final edit, I went back to my first blog post to look for the date to add to one of the previous paragraphs. This is the first paragraph of the first blog:

It has been a very strange week. Every day last week, I heard bad news. One person was in a terrible accident after visiting her father in hospital after he had a heart attack. A friend from NYC lost her partner of many years, a friends son OD'd on pills at a party, my daughter's friend had emergency surgery, and another friend is looking after her dying cousin's child.........and to top it all off two people I know died. What a week!

I take this as a sure sign that this blog really has come full circle. This is the time to let it go.


Ralph said...

I understand and am re-evaluating my own activities here, my dear, although I still do love to write. I'd say it "was" a pleasure to know you, but that's not accurate. It's a pleasure knowing an energetic, caring and creative person like you walks the planet. You don't have to share daily details to show the essence. I look forward to whatever you put here, and maybe to an occasional Facebook visit. And I wish you strength (but you don't need my wishes) in dealing with coming hardships.

Ocean said...

You can't end it. I like to read the blog and I will be sad!!!!!
Love you mom.

Cuidado said...

Ralph, I had noticed that now that you have transitioned, you are not around your blog much. I'll still be around with my other blogs and will maybe say a few words there instead of just posting photos. I can send you music....

Cuidado said...

Ocean, I talk to you almost every day - the real me. LOL Love you too, Darling.

Carol Tiffin James said...

Well, phooey! I really enjoy your blog, as I feel I'm living vicariously on PEI, which we still plan to visit one day, passport notwithstanding.

I've enjoyed your music, but my soul has really been fed by your beautiful photography. You are very gifted in that area.

It is strange, but my blog post this week was about death, too. I'm sorry to hear about your loved ones. We have several elderly relatives that I think about every time my phone rings, hoping it's not bad news. Thank you for all you've done here. Take some time for yourself; you deserve it.

Cuidado said...

Please come visit my other blogs, Carol. They are all about photography and Just Picture It has music. They are all linked on the side. I will still be around and may post here once in a while. Of course, I will still read your blog too.