Saturday, May 08, 2010

Hey, Mom, Here's Some Flowers

This photo is to show a mishap that I had today. I took 85 shots in my garden and it turned out I had my camera set from last night when I was taking photos of a sunset. The shots of the garden are very dark and unsalvageable if you don't have the software or skills for post processing. I don't. I will try to add some light from Picasa but they are probably toast. That's okay but the light is not at all nice outside now, two hours later.

I am feeling very tired. It's my day off and I have a case of low energy which is not like me. I've done a ton of chores, have a great supper in the works and am writing in a blog but without the pep I am usually blessed (or cursed) with.

I made a plan to sleep in today because I was tired after a hectic week. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:03 and reminded myself that I had decided to sleep in so slept for another hour. I woke up groggy. I think if I had gotten up at 6:03 I would be fine now. I have learned this lesson before but tend to learn the hard way.

Mother's Day is weighing heavily on me. It has been twelve years since I lost my mom and Mother's Day has been the hardest day of the year ever since. Her birthday is soon as well, so I always have kind of sad thoughts of her in May. It is getting easier though as I worked hard to stop making it a terrible day for my kids. They used to sit helplessly by as I cried inconsolably all day. I'm past that thankfully, but my heart is still heavy.

This mood is bringing the music today as I think of my mother who is gone too soon. She died at aged sixty from early-onset Alzheimer's disease. This is the music of my mood. Beth Nielsen Chapman covers the old, Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child and Gillian Welsh's song, Orphan Girl, by Crooked Still. Tomorrow I will celebrate her instead of thinking of the unfairness of this terrible disease. I think I will make her a card.


Ocean said...

Happy Mothers Day Mom, you did a great job with all of us! Love you.

Cuidado said...

Ah, Sweetie, you're the best. Thanks. I am teasing J about aging hair and firming face cream. he even laughed.

Carol Tiffin James said...

Well, we have more in common! I as well have to get up when I first wake up, even it it's too early, because I will be groggy if I go back to sleep for a while.

Also, although my mom is still kicking at almost 87, she also has a birthday in May.

Hope you get some more of your beautiful flower pictures - take it easy and recoup!

Cuidado said...

I actually got through the day quite easily. I talked about my Mom with my aunts and did not get upset. i think I've turned a corner.

About the sleeping in: I should know better. Five-thirty to six is my wake up time and I will stick to it.

Thanks for the good wishes, Carol.

splendid said...

I am glad to hear yesterday was good for you, all too often we beat ourselves up for things out of our control.

happy belated mother's day to you!


Cuidado said...

How right you are, splendid. I could not control it those first few years. I had to work hard. My daughter and two of my aunts talked about HER with me and I felt so lucky to have had her for as long as I did. I had to learn to focus on that instead of the loss.

Carol Tiffin James said...

Also, Mother's Day is bittersweet for me. My dad died on Mother's Day in 1980.

I'm glad you put in the work needed to keep your emotional stability. It's so true that focusing on the good memories makes one grateful.

Cuidado said...

It was strange, Carol, but I'm not normally a crier nor do I get very emotional. I had no idea that my mother's passing would do this to me. Hearing others talk about her is what makes me better now. My daughter told me that people were talking about my mom to my sister on Facebook. She's in the memories of even strangers to me.

Ocean said...

hahah i didn't mean anything bad with the cream and conditioner, i love your face!

Cuidado said...

I know you didn't. It is about a comment J made last week. When I was complaining about how tired and sore I was after gardening all day, he said, "I thought old people LIKED gardening." I got a smile out of him when I showed him your gift and wondered if I was getting a message from another kid about being old.