Monday, February 25, 2008

Beginning A Journey


I was a little blue when I stopped writing in the blog a couple of weeks ago. It was true that I was frustrated with the state of my arm/shoulder and that I was six and a half weeks behind where I should have been in regaining use of my battered limb. I was also frustrated with my lack of cre8ive outlets. There was another reason and now that everything is settled and my family has been informed I can talk about it.

I am having a kidney removed in a couple of weeks. It is assumed to be and most likely is cancerous but that determination is not final until the kidney is removed and a pathology report issued. As you can imagine, I am devastated. I am going through all the stages. Why me? I have taken such care. I have an excellent diet, maintain a good weight, quit smoking, exercise regularly, and take a huge amount of supplements. My doctor this summer told me I was perfect on paper - extremely healthy. Why me? Why not me is the answer, I guess. I know others who have maintained healthy lifestyles and have been stricken with the disease. Luck of the draw? I do not know the answer and will not dwell on it.

Music today is not meant to be a bummer. Gillian Welsh's beautiful song, I'm Not Afraid to Die, kind of says what I said in the last paragraph. Won't Give In by The Finn Brothers is my answer to it all as I won't give in. Here's Hayden with a version of Neil Young's, Tell Me Why. Kate Bush has a powerful song for how I'm feeling, too; Jig of Life, powerful I say!

7 comments:

Ocean said...

Ma, it can only make you stronger! Love you and you know we are all here for you whenever you need us!!

Kat said...

Cuidado,
We are all here for you.

Cuidado said...

Thanks, Ocean and Kat. That helps. What I need assistance with right now is how to stay calm and relaxed while waiting. Waiting is very hard......

Ralph said...

Cuidado, I wish there were words to say that could make everything better. Please know we are thinking of you.

Cuidado said...

Thanks, Ralph. It does help to know that.

Dan said...

Keeping my fingers crossed...

Cuidado said...

Thanks, Dan. Mine are too.