Monday, February 25, 2008
Beginning A Journey
I was a little blue when I stopped writing in the blog a couple of weeks ago. It was true that I was frustrated with the state of my arm/shoulder and that I was six and a half weeks behind where I should have been in regaining use of my battered limb. I was also frustrated with my lack of cre8ive outlets. There was another reason and now that everything is settled and my family has been informed I can talk about it.
I am having a kidney removed in a couple of weeks. It is assumed to be and most likely is cancerous but that determination is not final until the kidney is removed and a pathology report issued. As you can imagine, I am devastated. I am going through all the stages. Why me? I have taken such care. I have an excellent diet, maintain a good weight, quit smoking, exercise regularly, and take a huge amount of supplements. My doctor this summer told me I was perfect on paper - extremely healthy. Why me? Why not me is the answer, I guess. I know others who have maintained healthy lifestyles and have been stricken with the disease. Luck of the draw? I do not know the answer and will not dwell on it.
Music today is not meant to be a bummer. Gillian Welsh's beautiful song, I'm Not Afraid to Die, kind of says what I said in the last paragraph. Won't Give In by The Finn Brothers is my answer to it all as I won't give in. Here's Hayden with a version of Neil Young's, Tell Me Why. Kate Bush has a powerful song for how I'm feeling, too; Jig of Life, powerful I say!